This entry is a little piece of nonsense because it is Friday night and I am bored out of my skull, so am inflicting myself on you for something to do. We had a cocktail earlier, then moved on to a rather fine bottle of 2005 Cotes de Duras – glass #2 going down nicely. We are also pleasantly buzzed from the weed pipe, which may explain things somewhat.
Anyway, I was sat here staring into space, thinking about nothing in particular, when I fell to wondering, as I sometimes do, about the remarkable inability of the French to come up with proper nouns. I have mentioned this in a few previous entries – how they never bothered to come up with numbers like 70, 80 or 90, and how the word “encore” is deemed sufficient to cover “yet”, “more”, “again” and also “still” – when another example occurred to me: bats. The flying, squeaky, nocturnal kind, that is. Perhaps it is because it is nearly Hallow’een. Perhaps it is just the weed. But I digress. So, the French for “bat” is “chauve-souris”. I have known this since I was a small child and like many things you learn as a child, it was something I just never questioned. Until now.
“Chauve” means bald. So, the French for “bat” is “bald mouse”. Um…. quoi? First of all, if you really must insist on calling stuff “thing-that-is-like-this-thing-only-different-because-of-x” rather than coming up with a new word, at least be logical about it. The way I see it, there is one very obvious and major difference between a mouse and a bat, and it has nothing to do with how hirsute it is. Try “flying mouse”, “mouse-with-bloody-great-set-of-wings” or something like that. Better yet, come up with an entirely NEW word. Call them “Les battes”. There, see? It’s not that hard.
Oh, and secondly, bats are in no way bald. They are furry. Much like mice, in fact. Baffling.